From boxer@vallnet.com Thu Aug 28 01:06 GMT 1997 Received: from rmall.vallnet.com (root@rmall.vallnet.com [206.25.206.11]) by sefl.satelnet.org (8.6.8.1/8.6.6) with ESMTP id VAA22149 for ; Wed, 27 Aug 1997 21:06:10 -0400 Received: from nemisis.vallnet.com (nemisis.vallnet.com [206.25.206.1]) by rmall.vallnet.com (8.8.5/8.8.5) with ESMTP id UAA05847 for ; Wed, 27 Aug 1997 20:07:03 -0500 Received: from [208.134.112.46] (ao.tremal.vallnet.com) by nemisis.vallnet.com (Netscape Mail Server v2.01) with SMTP id AAA15525 for ; Wed, 27 Aug 1997 20:06:23 -0500 X-Sender: boxer@mail.vallnet.com Message-Id: Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii" To: Chris Cappuccio From: boxer@vallnet.com (boxer) Subject: Re: Dear Abby Date: Wed, 27 Aug 1997 20:06:23 -0500 Status: RO This was a recent letter to Dear Abby Dear Abby - I am a Vietnam-era deserter from the U. S. Army, and I have a second cousin who works for Microsoft. My mother peddles Nazi hate literature to Girl Scouts and my father (a former dentist) is in jail for 30 years for raping most of his patients while they were under anesthesia. The sole supporters of our large family, including myself and my $500-a-week heroin habit, are my uncle (master pick-pocket Benny "The Fingers") and my aunt and kid sisters, who are well-known street walkers. My problem is this: I have just gotten engaged to the most beautiful, sweetest girl in the world. She is just sweet sixteen, and we are going to marry as soon as she can escape from reform school. To support ourselves, we are going to move to Mexico and start a fake Aztec souvenir factory staffed by child labor. We look forward to bringing our kids into the family business. But -- I am worried that my family will not make a good impression on hers, once she has a chance to meet them. In your opinion, Abby: Should I -- or shouldn't I -- let her know about my second cousin who works for Microsoft? Regards, Trouble in Seattle? "American by birth, Southern by the grace of God."